mary

It’s been a rough week.  I was doing great Monday, then things started going downhill.  I got up Tuesday and was in a lot of pain.  Then, Wednesday morning, I couldn’t even walk from the bed to the bathroom without my cane and a lot of pain.  And, considering we’re still living in a hotel, that’s not far to go.  And, some of that time, I’d have to sit down in between.  And forget a shower.  I couldn’t even begin to stand up that long.  To top it all off, we’d made plans to go to my Dad’s in Arkansas this weekend.  Those plans would have to be put on hold if I’m not a whole lot better.

But, yesterday morning, after 2 days of high doses of Ibuprophen and lots of Capzasin, I was doing better.  I was still in pain, but not nearly as bad.  This morning I’m doing much better.  I still have some pain in my hip and leg, but it’s a lot better.  We’re planning on leaving for Arkansas this evening if I can manage a full shower without crying.

On the plus side, I have been able to stay OP this week.  Hopefully I’ll be able to do the same this weekend.  My stepmom is in Texas visiting her kids, so Dad will be doing the cooking.  And unfortunately, he knows all my old favorites, cornbread, fried catfish & hushpuppies, buscuits & gravy…and he’s a very good cook!  But, like I said, I’ve been good, so I should be able to indulge a little without messing up.  I hope so anyway.

I hope everybody has a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend.

Yeah, two steps forward and one step back.  I didn’t lose any this week…I gained .2 lbs.  That really felt good considering my 9.4 lb weight loss of last week.  I didn’t even use all my points this past week, and I didn’t splurge on anything.  The week before I splurged several times, and used all my points plus most of my advantage points for the week.  What gives?  The WW leader said I didn’t eat enough.  I just don’t know how that could be possible.  I was constantly eating this past week.  I mean, I’m seeing things, like my watch and wedding rings are spinning round and round instead of being stuck in one place.  And Micheal says my stomach looks flatter.  And, I’ve not been any more active.  I’ve drank all my water…just like the week before.  Why would I gain instead of lose?

No, I’m not giving up.  I just don’t understand why sometimes we gain and sometimes we lose.  That’s been my problem since I can remember.  In the past, every diet I’ve been on, I’d lose weight.  Then, while still on the diet, I’d gain it all back, plus more.  So, I’ll keep on keeping on with WW, unless I go back up to within a couple of pounds from what I weighed when I started. 

I just finished reading the on-line versions of the local newspapers from my home towns.  (I grew up smack dab between two towns).  I always read the local news, police reports and obituaries.  Between both papers, of all the obituaries, more than half of the people listed were within 7 years of my age!!!  And only one died as the result of an accident.  Is that a wake-up call or what??  I didn’t know any of these people, so I don’t know if they were over-weight, just unhealthy or what.  It just hit home that so many people close to my age have died the past couple of days!

Well, I don’t know about the rest of you but I’M NOT READY TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I have to lose some of this weight and get healthy, or my obit will be right along with the others.  I have no doubt of that.  I’m too fat, I smoke, and I have health issues.  Two of those three I can do something about right now.  I’m trying to quit smoking.  And I’m trying to lose weight.  I think I’m doing a half-way decent job of both.  I’m down from smoking at least 2 packs a day to 1/2 a day or less.  Yeah, I know.  If I’m down to 1/2 pack a day or less, why not just throw them away.  If you’re a smoker, or former smoker, you know it’s not that easy, especially when you’re trying to lose weight.  And I’m working on that, too.

Yesterday I made a big pot of soup.  I chopped up a head of cabbage, some carrots and celery and dumped them in some fat-free chicken broth.  I added some Rotel (salsa works, too or just diced tomatoes), some salt, pepper, onion powder (you can use chopped onions instead), garlic, chicken boullion, chili powder and some chicken breast diced into very small pieces.  Add any other seasonings that you want.  Two cups of this stuff is less than 25 calories and, if you’re on Weight Watchers, maybe 1 point.  I count it as 1 point anyway, just to be sure.  You can add other veggies if you want…green beans, peas, whatever.  You can leave the chicken out if you want to.  But, just stay away from anything that will add fat or a lot of calories.  The idea of this soup is to fill you up when you want something, but don’t want (or need) to use up any calories or points.  And, it helps you to get your veggies in.  It freezes well.  I put mine in one-cup containers.  Most went into the freezer and the rest went into the fridge.  It will thaw and heat fast in the microwave.  But, I wouldn’t recommend more than a couple of cups a day, as more tends to have a laxative effect.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and I want it to be a very long, healthy life.

Ok.  It’s been 5 days in a row that the pain has been bad.  But I’m still sticking to my points.  I just keep thinking that just maybe if I get some of this weight off, the pain will ease up.  For anybody else who has Fibro or arthritis, you know that losing the weight may help, but it is no guarantee.  My sister is a little tiny thing.  She has fibro and is in just about the same shape I am, pain-wise.  But, I’m going to believe that if I get the weight off, the pain won’t be as bad.

I’ve been staying on-point.  Last night I had pizza and had to borrow from the advantage points, but I’d had just as many left over so far this week so I’m not going to worry about that.  The hardest part is getting in all of my water while I’m hurting, cuz I have to jump and run to the bathroom more (or maybe ‘jump and run’ isn’t quite the right phrase since I can’t do either!!!).  But at least, living in this hotel, I don’t have very far to go from the bed to the bathroom…LOL  There’s no couch or other furniture here (well, one chair made for a skinny person), so the bed is the only place to sit. (don’t want anybody to think I’m so lazy that I spend all my time in bed, which I pretty much do when I’m really hurting!! LOL)

But I am determined to do this.  I saw one of the guys I went to high school with one day. He told me I had been the prettiest girl in our class.  I almost fell over.  I told him that was impossible, as I’ve always been over-weight (almost always) and none of the guys in our class ever asked me out on a date.  He said they were all intimidated by me.  Intimidated by me?  Well, I’m 32 years older now, but I’m kinda anxious to see what I’ll look like when I’m skinny.  I hope I don’t look like a wrinkled up old hag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  At least his comments give me some hope.  LOL  And, thoses comments give me something to work for.  My 35 year reunion is just 3 years away!

Well, I’m still hanging in.  I’m staying on-point and drinking my water.  I just haven’t been very active.  I’ve been in pain since Tuesday evening, and it’s not letting up.  I’m scared I’m gonna end up like I was in January again…I spent most of January in a wheelchair cuz the pain was sooo bad.  And things were looking so good.  I didn’t even use my cane from Friday through Tuesday…til Tuesday evening.  THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But I’m trying to take care of myself, not over-do it, and I’m taking my Ibuprophen.  Maybe it’s just the cold, wet weather.  I can hope anyway.

But I’m gonna stick to my diet.  I have to.  Maybe if I get some of this weight off, it will help with the pain.

Well, I had my first Weight Watcher’s weigh-in today.  I lost 9 lbs!!!!!   It’s been 8 days since my first weigh-in instead of 7, but I don’t think that makes that much difference.  I was expecting maybe a 1-2 or 3 lb loss, but not 9!

I know it won’t be that way every week.  I’ll be perfectly happy with 1 lb a week.  And, Micheal is backing me 100%.  He said he’d help me keep on-point, even if he has to tie me up, put tape across my mouth and lock me up!!!  Did I ever mention that I really, really, REALLY love that man??? LOL

But, I’ve got to stay with this diet this time, no matter what the ups and downs may be.  I just feel like if I don’t lose the weight this time, I never will.  I know I won’t have trouble keeping it off once I get it off.  That will be the easy part cuz I know what it’s like to struggle trying to lose so much.  But I just have to get it off, first.  And, believe it or not, for the very first time ever, I really feel like I can do this.  I know it’s going to take some time, but I’m gonna do it.

Thanks for all the encouragement I’ve gotten so far, and for all that’s to come.  I’ll need every bit of it.

I had a pretty good Mother’s Day.  Both of my kids actually called me.  My son hasn’t called me on Mother’s day the past 2 years and it’s been at least 4 since my daughter called.  Neither bothers to send me a card, even though they always get cards from Micheal and me.  Micheal’s daughter never fails to call and send a card.  I guess my kids are finally growing up…or maybe it’s the fact that I jumped both of them when I didn’t hear from them on my birthday!  I know.  I’m bad.  But it really hurts when your own children can’t even manage a phone call on your birthday or Mother’s Day and for the first time, I let them know just how much it does hurt.  I guess they didn’t want to get another chewing out from me…LOL

We drove down to Indianapolis for Mother’s Day.  Micheal got today off so we decided we would take a drive down here, just for the heck of it.  We’ll head back home this afternoon.

I actually did pretty good on my diet this past week.  I’ve managed to stay on-point, in spite of eating out a couple of times.  I’ll go for my weigh-in tomorrow morning.  That will tell the tale.

I hope all the ladies out there had a wonderful Mother’s Day.

Just going day to day trying to hang on.  I’ve done pretty good this past week, staying within my points allowance.  Tomorrow and Monday will be the hard part, though.  We’re going to Indianapolis for a couple of days.  It’s so much harder to keep on-track when you’re traveling.  But, my weigh-in on Tuesday will tell the tale.  And, I’m trying to quit smoking on top of that.  I’m down to about 1/2 a pack a day or less.  Not bad when I was smoking over 1 1/2 packs a day.

My daughter called me last night and informed me that my son and his girlfriend lost their baby more than a week ago.  He didn’t even bother to call me.  He knows how much I care about my grandbabies.  That really was a kick in the butt.

I’m not looking forward to Mother’s Day.  My mother died 8 1/2 years ago in a car wreck, and my own kids haven’t bothered to call or send a card the past 2 or 3 years (although they always spend time with their step-mother on Mother’s Day).  So, I’m not expecting to hear from either of them.  I will probably hear from Micheal’s daughter.  Isn’t that something?  Your stepchild treats you more like a mother than your own children.  Anyway, that’s part of the reason we’re going away for the weekend.  My kids know my cell number so they can call if they decide I deserve a call from them.

It’s been a while since I’ve written here.  With getting settled in, and an increase in pain and mobility issues, I haven’t been spending much time on the computer.  I’ve been taking it easy because I’m scared to death of ending up totally imobile, having to use a wheelchair to go more than 10 steps  and in excruciating pain like I was in January.  I hate to be dependent on anyone, even my wonderful husband.  So, when I’m not doing so hot, I am very choosy about where I expend my energy.

I did go out and re-join Weight Watchers this past Monday.  I’ve always had a good bit of success with them, but not all the places we’ve lived have had a meeting place conveniently located.  I don’t know how long we’ll be living in this area, so I was reluctant to start again, but I finally decided to go for it.  I’ve always needed the extra support and accountability that comes with WW. 

And, I’m going to try to be more consistant with my journal blogs.